Even as a child of God, I have this constant awareness that I will never be enough. And while this notion might appear negative, this has helped me to rely solely on God’s grace.
The truth is, my best will never be enough. My strength will fail. My wisdom is based mostly on the years and experience I gained in life, and that’s not saying much. My skills, no matter how helpful they might be, are not in top shape. Someone will always be better than me, more knowledgeable than me, more efficient than me. Even on my best days, there are people who tend to be critical. There are also times, that no matter the best I give, some things are just out of control. And that gives me this frustrating and disappointing feeling. Heartbreaking even, at some point. I will always lack one thing for something.
But there is one truth I realized through all these: circumstances and feelings will always lead me to my true condition and to who God is. That I am nothing, and all my good deeds are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). And with that thought comes the awareness that God, the mighty awesome God I serve wonderfully chose me and uses me to fulfill His purposes. Though He could accomplish His plans without me in it, He chose me, EVEN WHEN I REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER. And so, in the end, whether things go my way, or spin in chaos (by my standard), I will be grateful for the opportunity to be part of His work, to do my part as God allows me to.
I thank God because in my lack, in my weakness and in my insufficiency, He provides just the thing I need, and He is all-sufficient. He gives grace where I need it. He comes through just at the right moment.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul declared how God works through such circumstances in life: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
God is there with us in our moments of weakness. And we need to be constantly aware, not only of our weakness, but also of God’s power that is available for His children. When we admit our need for God, we make our hearts fertile for His working, His filling and His empowering. And we know that there is no mediocrity in God. He always performs His work in excellence, always surpasses our expectations and goes beyond anything we can ever imagine (1 Corinthians 2:9).
Because we have God on our side, we can battle against any insecurity or challenge that life or our own thinking may throw our way, especially our insufficiency. With God, we are secure of who we are. And whether or not our strength or wisdom fails, He never fails. In that way, even with our occasional lows and valleys, we can become better so we can do better and reach greater things, all for His glory.
That’s the beauty of it, I believe. And on that note, I can declare with Paul: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).